Like any project requiring tax dollars, SunRail is imperfect and opposed by some who think it’s a boondoggle. Well, so is most of Washington and Tallahassee, but they seem to muddle through year after year. I can’t say that some of the criticism is without merit – SunRail has problems. However, it’s still a step in the right direction.

We desperately need more public transportation and less reliance on individual vehicles. The benefits reduce traffic congestion, pollution, and money spent on gas. Central Florida’s population is growing and our urban sprawl is tightening around our necks as people clog a few main routes daily going to and from work.

SunRail won’t be a viable solution for all of those workers heading Downtown or to Disney World, but it provides a start for some, and room for expansion to other routes in the future. The question is whether people will give it a chance or not.

Instead of fighting your way to and from work, your route changes.  You head to your local station and leave your car behind (or carpool there if it makes sense), catch the train and make your way to the office.

Ah, but how? For some people, it’s a short walk.  For others, it may require building up other forms of localized commuter transportation. It may change the way we live, too.  Instead of building out, we may start building up – just as people live in other major cities.

Orlando will not become New York or Chicago, but the downtown core may get closer to resembling Seattle.

Creating a viable transit system provides jobs to build and operate it, but there’s another impact in that it may attract employers here. Employers moving to a region look for elements that will help them attract and retain talented employees, and transportation is an important part of that list.

No doubt, SunRail will have bumps along the way. Beyond that, it could be a catalyst for expanding transportation options locally and throughout the state. Let’s just hope the TSA doesn’t come along and fuck it all up.

[quote]They FUCK YOU at the drive-thru, okay? They FUCK YOU at the drive-thru! They know you’re gonna be miles away before you find out you got fucked! They know you’re not gonna turn around and go back, they don’t care. So who gets fucked?[/quote]

International Drive is Orlando’s Drive-Through

If you want to get fucked, don’t waste your time on the South Orange Blossom Trail. Instead, it the southern end of International Drive. The people who run businesses there really know how to fuck you, but they still won’t kiss you first. The easiest way to get screwed is to have a car. $15 to park at your hotel.  $13 to park at the convention center. $8 & tip to park at Pointe Orlando Valet (four of the restaurants will validate the $8 fee).  By the end of the day, you could spend $40-$50 “enjoying” all there is to offer on International Drive.  They’re counting on the notion that you’re on a company expense account, or perhaps a trip you’ll bill to clients. If you’re there on your own dime, you don’t have much choice but to bend over and take it.

What’s that, you say?  Don’t take a car!  Sure, ride the Trolley.  It’s only a buck or two per trip.  It’s also not running early enough in the morning to get you from your hotel to the convention center for meetings, and it’s pathetically slow as it has to stop so many times.  Then there’s the weather. During my first conference a few weeks ago, we had some torrential rain.  Standing in that downpour waiting on a trolley isn’t going to help you make a good impression when you arrive at your business meeting. Cabs? Let’s just say that Orlando is not a great cab town.  You may find them at the hotels, but it’s a bitch getting one somewhere else to get back to your hotel. There’s a reason traffic is horrible on International Drive, because we just don’t have a decent commuter system to move people up and down the road.

The Rosen Center

This place has a nice lobby, but you quickly see how outdated and overpriced it is when you get in the room.  They’re small, shabby and I don’t believe they’re worth the asking price.  However, it has a convenient location right across the street from the OCCC.  That commands a premium price. So much so that the people who run the Rosen don’t give a shit about ensuring you have a decent room.  Take a look at this picture of the bathroom in my friend’s room at the Rosen Center.  Yes, that’s the toilet in the bathtub! No discount for this little flaw, but they at least gave him a breakfast buffet pass.  Rosen quality!

The major restaurant in the Rosen is Everglades – designed by a teenager in the 1980′s with lots of frogs and bright neon colors. At least the prices are high, though.  I ordered a 10 oz filet mignon medium rare.  It came out butterflied and overcooked.  When you’re paying $60-$70 for your meal (without alcohol), then you may expect a better experience.  Our server was a surly man who muttered something about getting the orders confused, but didn’t offer to make any corrections. The meal tasted fine, but the experience wasn’t worth the price.  If you want a decent meal, go visit one of the nicer restaurants in the area and avoid Everglades in the Rosen.

The Customer Service Attitude

There are individuals who provide great customer service.  For the most part, I found an attitude of doing just enough to get by, knowing that they would never see that person again. It’s the drive-through mentality.  Fuck ‘em.  They’ll be gone before they know it.

In a sense, I can understand. While I think that most of the people who attended these conferences were nice, there were definitely some stand-out folks who just thought the world revolved around them. People like that can suck the life out of your soul. Imagine working in a service position around such people, constantly rotating in and out of your day. It can wear you down.

The problem is that the rest of us who show some courtesy and up getting dragged down to their level.  If I come in with a nice attitude and you’re pissed because of the previous guest (or just general bad attitude), it affects me and how I tip you. It’s not like you can fake it, either.  Some servers try, but people know when you’re disingenuous. I don’t expect you to do a happy dance, but some sincere courtesy and professionalism in your job is sufficient.  If you’re happy and it rubs off on me, even better. I may even forgive you some mistakes if I just think you’re a cool person who’s trying hard. That’s why your attitude is so important. I’ll pay you for being a cool person.

Orlando’s Image

A lot of visitors think Orlando is nothing more than a playground.  They never see how we really live. The simple truth is that the visitor experience is a major factor in our economy. If we’re pissing in the visitor pool a regularly as I witnessed over the past few weeks, I’m amazed that anyone comes back.  I’m sure a lot of folks will tell me how little they’re paid doing these jobs.  No doubt that’s true, but you know what?  You’re being paid.  Before we had this convention and tourism industry, your ass would be out there picking oranges that used to grow where International Drive is today. Be happy you get to work in an air-conditioned environment with the ability to earn more money than the average migrant worker. Maybe now you have a reason to smile a bit more.

We live in an age of observation. Everyone has surveillance cameras watching you. Most people never notice them, but they’re quite ubiquitous. You can’t pump gas, use an ATM or buy a hotdog at a convenience store without appearing on a video camera. It seems that the only people who don’t have cameras are cops.  Somehow, it’s too expensive to have dash cams in police or deputy cruisers, but there’s always money for the new darling of municipal governments – red light cameras.

Red Light Cameras are Profitable

The reason for the disparity is obvious. There’s no profit in recording video on a police car. Red light cameras, however, are all about profit. Today, Orange County became the most recent jurisdiction to add red light cameras at ten intersections. For the next few weeks, drivers accused of violating a red light will receive a warning notice. After that, they will automatically ticket the registered owner of a vehicle $158. $75 of that amount goes to the county as revenue and the remainder goes to the state.

Officials routinely  try to downplay the revenue and cite safety as the reason for the red light cameras. Orange County Mayor followed that script today as she announced, “This program is not about fines, it’s about preventing injuries and saving lives.” Sure, honey.  Whatever you say. The fines don’t hurt the city coffers, though, do they? It’s interesting to note that a driver’s insurance company isn’t notified, and there are no points assigned to people accused of running a red light. If this is about safety, why omit notification and points? Don’t we want to identify and punish the people who jeopardize our safety? Of course not. We just want their money.

In fact, cities are relieved by the ruling of a state judge last month protecting them from the possibility of losing millions of dollars of red light revenue. Orange Circuit Judge Frederick Lauten ruled that drivers who voluntarily paid fines of $125 or more have no right to ask for their money back, and cannot be included in a claim against the city of Orlando filed by Kissimmee attorney Jason Weisser on behalf of Michael Udowychenko. The judge ruled that the city installed red light cameras before the state approved their use. The City of Orlando had issued tickets for two years before state approval.

Judge Lauten’s ruling saves Orlando about $4 Million. Of course, the ruling presumes that people who voluntarily paid the fine were admitting guilt. My opinion is that some of them did so because they either didn’t feel they had a chance to win or feared higher fines if they contested the ticket. It doesn’t matter, though. a 1959 precedent ruled that citizens who paid fines were not entitled to a refund, even if the law that caused the citation was ruled invalid. You see, it’s about the money.

Red Light Camera Tickets Are Beatable

Folks in South Florida know they can beat these tickets, though. That’s because there are a number of flaws with the technology. Tickets have been dismissed for a number of reasons:

• One woman brought her passport to prove she was in Spain at the time of the alleged infraction.
• Another woman brought a note from church to show she was taking part in a funeral procession when the camera caught her car going through a red light.
• A man showed the video clearly indicated that the light was Yellow as his car was caught on camera; proof he did not run a red light.
• When challenged to present a certificate proving that the cameras were installed according to state law, 20 people had their citations dismissed as the City of West Palm Beach could not present the certificate.
• Tickets are sometimes dismissed because the photo does not show the traffic light, proving it was red at the time the car passed.
• Tickets are sometimes dismissed because the yellow light only lasts 2 seconds, rather than the standard 4-5 seconds. One judge commented it was entrapment.

A defense that is becoming common is to challenge the citation based upon lack of evidence. The photograph of a car passing under a red light does not include a visible license tag. A separate image captures the tag, but doesn’t include the date/time stamp on the photo to coincide with the larger image. That evidentiary gap is causing traffic hearing officers in West Palm Beach to toss one red light camera ticket after another. This tactic may or may not work in other areas of Florida, since traffic rulings are non-binding.

Red Light Cameras are Privatized Police Enforcement

It wasn’t Orange County employees who installed the red light cameras here recently, but private contractors. Red light enforcement cameras are installed and maintained by private firms such as Affiliated Computer Services, American Traffic Solutions, Inc., and Redflex Traffic Systems. West Palm Beach pays $4,750 per camera each month to American Traffic Solutions, Inc. for its red light cameras. If you receive a ticket, it’s not because you were observed by a trained and state certified law enforcement officer, but because of a system owned and operated by a private, for-profit corporation. Effectively, municipalities have outsourced police enforcement in exchange for a cut of revenue.

They say you get the government you deserve, but that saying was before government started selling out for a quick buck.

Traffic Light & Camera – Rule of Thirds

Originally uploaded by Ellen Henderson Photography

Most people think those who oppose red light cameras are only those who like to run red lights. That’s incorrect. I don’t run red lights or stop signs and can’t stand it when I see someone who does. Generally, I express my displeasure with a display of my middle finger. Yelling hurts my voice and it takes time to roll down the window. The finger is much quicker. Never mind the fact that the criminal may never see it or know why I flicked them off. It makes me feel better.

There are a few reasons why I think red light cameras are a bad idea. First is the constitutional complaint. It eliminates your right to face your accuser in court. People see the picture of your car and assume that the light was red, thus you are guilty. They never conceive that there may be a problem with the technology. One example is a yellow light that is too short. The lights have timing specifications, but sometimes they’re off. If you should have time to get through an intersection, but the timing of the light off, you get an automatic ticket. Now you are presumed guilty and you can’t face your accuser.

My other objection is about the alleged safety enhancement of these cameras. I don’t buy it. If people aren’t paying attention to the light or are just running the damn thing, they aren’t paying attention to the camera. These folks aren’t deep thinkers. They act quickly, rashly and stupidly.

These cameras are all about generating revenue. As AAA noted, the revenue doesn’t even go toward public safety. Most of it goes to the state’s general fund. Red light cameras are nothing more than a new tax for politicians to abuse.

I sincerely hope that Governor Crist disapproves the state’s red light camera law, but I doubt that he has the cojones to do it. He goes with the majority, and those aren’t the folks who think about being on the dirty end of the stick.

In an effort to save Bike Week from itself, I’ve decided that it’s time someone pointed out its deficiencies in order to illustrate the problems we need to avoid at further events.  Apparently, that someone turned out to be me.  What can I say?  I’m here to help.

1: Traffic

Daytona Police Traffic Control

I spent a lot of time in unnecessary traffic jams today.  Seriously, I didn’t even get to any of the places that I truly wanted to visit – Main Street, Destination Daytona, Iron Horse – because of the incredible traffic jams.  I’m not a neophyte.  I’ve lived in Central Florida all my life.  Rather than poking along I-4 or International Speeedway, I know that there are relatively unfettered roads that lead up to the same destinations.  At least, until you get to the road that leads right into the destination.  That’s when you’re truly fucked.

It doesn’t have to be that way, though.  The problem, very clearly, was the traffic control failure of Daytona Police and Volusia County Sheriff Deputies.  These folks were the cause of a true cluster-fuck.  I watched cops who were directing people against the traffic lights.  I watched cops at intersections treating all directions equally, despite the obvious fact that there was much more of a backup in a given direction.  Those of us who wasted hours idling in traffic would have been better served if the cops had just stayed home with the Blue Flu.  They did more harm than good, at least as far as traffic control was concerned.

2:  Stuffed Toys

Guys, it’s time to leave your fucking stuffed animals at home.  I don’t care if it’s a teddy bear, a Chuckie puppet or one of the God damned Muppets.  Grow up.  Women are not going to fuck you just because you brought some damn stuffed toy with you.  It’s played out.  Give it up.  Leave that shit at home.  It’s sad enough that you even own this shit.

3: Tip Jars

This one is for the ladies.  Yes, we know you make a shitload of money each day just by standing there passing out over-priced beer and bottles of water. One woman told me she made about $3,000 a day as a beer tub girl.  Well, it’s time to give a little something back.  Start wearing a garter, just like you do when you’re working at the nudie bar back home.  If we’re going to make you rich for a week, give us a little skin.  At least that way, you know that we tipped you.  It sucks when you drop some money in a jar and the girl doesn’t see it.  If we’re going to tip you, we want a little smile or gratitude for it.  If we can stick the money on your garter, at least then you pay a little attention in exchange for basically doing nothing more than having breasts that are somewhat on display.  Besides, you’d probably get more tips if you took my advice.  In business, we call this a “win-win.”  Look it up.  You’re welcome.

4:  Dead Animals

This tragic display seems to be limited to old, white men.  You see them with horns, fur, even dead animal faces somehow adorning their bodies.  Perhaps they think it makes them seem more manly, as if they just returned from killing the critter with their bare hands while simultaneously sexually gratifying a goat.  Enough, already.  This does not make you look cool, manly, or anything positive.  It makes you that freak with the fur and horns.  It makes us feel sorry for your wife and grandkids.  This is a variation of the stuffed-toy phenomenon.  Likewise, it’s played-out.  Give up the fucking dead animals.  We’ll all be grateful.

5: Spring Breakers Mixing With Bikers

I like cute young girls as much as anyone else.  However, I only like them if I can touch them.  Usually, I can’t touch them, so that means I usually don’t like them.  The last thing I want to see mixing around a bunch of fat old bikers is a collection of hot young women who want to play biker-chic for a day.  While they may think it’s fun, I just find it sexually frustrating.  I’d rather see their horny mother hanging out with us than these girls.  I have a better shot with their horny mother than with college girls.  Stay on the beach, kids.  It’s a sad coincidence that Spring Break starts at the tail end of Bike Week.  Keep your place.  You can have all the fun you want, but don’t do it in front of the bikers unless you’re willing to put out.  Just bring your Mom, instead.

6: Snakes

I don’t like snakes.  I don’t like people who have snakes with them.  What the fuck is up with people who walk around with their own personal snake?  Is it supposed to make you look bad?  Is it supposed to be erotic?  It’s not.  It’s a fucking snake and I hate those damn things.  If you want to see something that looks like a snake, just ask and I’ll be happy to let you hold it.  If you’re already carrying your own, then get the fuck out of here.  It’s Bike Week, not Snake Week.

7: Chicks with Too Much Pink

Pink bikes.  Pink boots.  Pink helmets.  Pink leathers.  Enough, already.  We get it.  You have a vagina.  Don’t rub it in our faces.  Wait, that didn’t come out right.  At any rate, it’s another thing that’s played out.  Yay, girl-power!  You’re surrounded 90:1 by fat men in leather.  Trust me, you already stand out in a crowd just for not having a Y-chromosome.  You don’t need to flaunt your pink accessories.  Just show us your tits and we’ll get the idea.

8: Fake Tits

While we’re on the subject of tits…

Enough with the fake tits.  I’m not talking about breast augmentation. To me, those aren’t fake.  I believe in the words of Sam Kinison – “They’re real if I can touch them.” What I’m talking about t-shirts and other images of tits that aren’t really tits.  Men do not get excited by t-shirts showing us stuff that you don’t have.  If you want to show us your cleavage, that’s a great start.  If you want to wear a short t-shirt where the boobs hang out underneath, this is also an acceptable solution.  There’s even a protest every year during Bike Week where women take off their tops for equal rights to go Top Free.  I’d enjoy this protest more if there were more attractive women in it, but I support their cause.  Set those puppies free!

9: Cell Phones

Who are these people talking to all the time?  It’s bad enough you can’t find a woman who can drive without a cell phone conversation, but do we need bikers yapping on the phone all the time?  You’re here, you’re on vacation.  Shut the fuck up and pay attention.  Don’t worry about the crisis in HR back home.  Let the wife figure out how to work the garbage disposal on her own.  Pay attention to what’s happening around you and stop YELLING into your damn phone at every concert, beer hall and restaurant.

10: Over-Commercialization

Vendors are everywhere in Bike Week.  People started this event for racing and having fun.  Whenever people get together, someone comes along to sell them something.  To an extent, that’s not a bad thing.  You get a chance to see things for sale that may interest you, parts for the bike, t-shirts, etc.  However, it’s gone far beyond acceptable commercialization now.  Hard Rock has a place on Main Street only during Biker events now.  Ford is here trying to hawk its trucks to bikers who clearly should be towing their motorcycles instead of riding them.  Verizon Wireless was here with a special today.  That’s right.  Verizon Fucking Wireless!  What the hell does that shit have to do with bikers, racing or drinking to excess?  I understand that nearly everyone has a cell phone now, but do we need these assholes marketing them to us during Bike Week?  Hell, there’s also a sale on mattresses in Daytona this week.  How the hell are you supposed to carry a mattress back home to Buffalo on your bike?  Enough, already.  At least keep the commercialization relevant to the event.

That’s it.  That’s my rant on what Bike Week doesn’t need.  There’s probably more, like all the asswipes in trucks, cars and minivans trying to cruise down Main Street during Bike Week, but at least they have a right to drive on the road.  For now.

]]> http://orlandolocal.com/top-ten-things-daytona-bike-week-doesnt-need/feed/ 2 http://orlandolocal.com/biketoberfest-09/ http://orlandolocal.com/biketoberfest-09/#comments Sun, 18 Oct 2009 17:18:28 +0000 Bill http://orlandolocal.com/?p=102 Planning for Biketoberfest

I was supposed to head over to Daytona for Biketoberfest on Friday night with a friend, but he had to cancel. As much as I would’ve preferred to spend time with my friend, I was actually a bit relieved. I ended up coming home from a business trip at about 2:00 am on Friday and was still moving slowly that day.

As a result, I caught some great weather by going on Saturday afternoon. It seemed like a perfect day for a ride going the back way on 415. After turning off 46 onto 415, I had the luck of the draw to wind up behind a semi hauling a load slowly down the road. At first, I figured it wasn’t so bad. I had no particular time to be there and a lazy ride up a back road could be a nice way to unwind.

Then it started getting to me. It was’t the semi that was the problem; he actually got his ass in gear and kept up with the speed limit. It was the dipshits between us that didn’t seem to know how to drive. They were looking at everything but the road, slowing down to look at grass, cows, and who knows what. Thus began my leapfrog approach to navigating 415 and a reminder of my love/hate relationship with biker events.

Biker Event Traffic Sucks

Some of the drivers were in cars and trucks, and some were on motorcycles. It doesn’t matter to me. Stupid drivers who can’t keep consistent speed, cause others to miss traffic lights because they aren’t paying attention or having a conversation, or just suddenly stop hard annoy the fuck out of me. One after the other, I experienced all of these at least once, and some of them multiple times.

Since I was on my own this trip, I decided to make it pretty simple and keep to my traditional stops: Hooters for lunch (for the vitamins), grab some t-shirts at Boot Hill & Iron Horse, and a DQ Oreo Blizzard for dinner (for the vitamins). Given the traffic in town, I spent several hours doing what should only take one or two.

Daytona International Speedway

Lunch Options at Biketoberfest

I ended up sitting at a table right under an air conditioning vent at Hooters. It was nice & cool outside, so I’m not sure why they cranked up the A/C so much. Yes, you need to run it because of all the bodies inside, but it was pretty fucking cold there. However, it was actually worth it. While my local Sanford Hooters can’t cook decent wings, the Daytona store is consistently pretty good. I enjoyed my calorie overload.

On a sexist note, I have to say the quality of the waitresses at Hooters is declining. Let’s face it, guys go there to look at cute young women in tight uniforms. Hooters used to bring its absolute A-list team to Daytona for biker events. I’m not seeing it anymore. Maybe they just can’t enlist the same girls in the catalogs to actually slop wings around to tables. My server (Whitney) was pretty nice and she was cute, but I wouldn’t say I had the best service I’ve ever experienced. I generally had to yell out her name when I wanted something.

Pretty in Pink

Use Alternate Routes in Daytona

Leaving Hooters to head toward Main Street was a pain in the ass for most people. Traffic was backed up on International Speedway. That’s because most bikers in town only know about four or five roads in Daytona and never look at a map. Rather than slogging for the next hour or so in traffic, I took a left on Bill France over to Mason and was at Beach Street within a few minutes. That’s when I remembered to be thankful for idiots. Let them line up in traffic and leave the other streets open for me to use.

Of course, there’s not much you can do about Main Street. I considered just going over the Mason Bridge and then sliding over to Main Street, but it’s Biketoberfest. You have to ride over the drawbridge. It seemed good at the time, until I got in the line of traffic going over the bridge. Then I realized I was no better than any of the other fucking idiots doing the same thing. Pedestrians walking over the bridge were leaving me in the dust.

Owning a Motorcycle Does Not Qualify You to Ride a Motorcycle

The two bikes in front of me were evidence that anyone can ride a motorcycle, but that doesn’t mean they can ride it very well. The guy would start to move and then suddenly stop hard, even though there was room in front of him. As usual, I started cussing to myself wondering what this dumb son of a bitch was doing. After a few times, I finally had to ask him, “Why the fuck are you stopping like that?”

He complained that his hand hurt from holding the clutch. Moron. I suggested to him that he could shift into neutral and just coast a bit rather than slamming on the brakes. That way he’d get some relief for his hand and I wouldn’t have a surprise sudden stop. The look on his face was like he just discovered ice cream. Moron.

Not All Nudity is Good Nudity

A lot of the traffic going over the bridge was distracted by a topless woman holding a protest. First, I didn’t get a picture of her because I was on my bike in stop & go traffic. Second, I didn’t get a picture of her because she was just an old, fat, ugly bitch with a nasty tattoo on her left titty.

[box type="warning"]The women you see walking around topless at biker events are not the women you want to see walking around topless.[/box]

Once I got across the bridge, I discovered something elusive that I’ve never been able to find after several years of attending Daytona biker events – an open parking space on the sidewalk. Fuck these assholes who want $5 parking. For the first time in my life, I’m getting free parking!

Nothing is free

The price of parking on the sidewalk was to turn left in front of a seemingly endless stream of traffic and back-in, over the curb, to get on the sidewalk next to the other bikes. I managed my U-turn and got to the side, waited for an opening in the traffic, and then some helpful soul decided to allow traffic from another parking lot to come right at me as I started backing into my open spot. I think it took ten minutes just to park there. I passed the time with more cussing. Still, I finally nailed a free spot.

Down on Main Street

I made my way up to Boot Hill & Main Street Station. Bonnie is still serving beers out front, she still has great thighs, but she was wearing a mask to cover up what is increasingly an aging face. Once inside of Boot Hill, it was the usual cluster-fuck. I tend to like long-sleeve, extra-large shirts. Guess what? So does every other fat fuck at Biketoberfest and they got there while I was still up in D.C. on Thursday. Of the choices I liked, none were available. I still bought one that didn’t have any freaking skulls or skeletons on it and headed back to my bike. I saw no purpose in fighting my way through crowded sidewalks on Main Street. I’ll save that for Bike Week in the Spring.

Boot Hill

Leaving Main Street behind, I rode along the river to SR-40 and then slipped over to U.S. 1. It wasn’t too bad until it was suddenly jammed with traffic, but that’s expected in this area. I pulled over to a parking lot run by Boy Scouts who were raising funds. If I have to pay $5 for parking, I’d rather give it to some Scouts than anyone else. I used to be a Scout (Eagle, so you know I’m good), so I can appreciate the fact that they only get the money they raise and they work for it.

Main Street Traffic

Iron Horse is essentially a big dirt pit filled with old white people standing around drinking beer and listening to shitty music. I do mean shitty, too. There was some heavy-metal thrash band playing that most of these fuckers would detest if they weren’t already on their 23rd beer. Of course, there is a reason why I like hanging out with these people. The first is that I genuinely love the sound of motorcycles. Not just Harley’s, mind you, but all motorcycles. I’ve ridden damn near every kind of bike and enjoyed them all. The other reason is because there are a lot of folks that look like this guy:

The Demographic

With folks this fat around, I look pretty damn good.

We Came for the T-Shirts

Once again, I went on the hunt for t-shirts. Once again, the first one I found was sold-out in the size I wanted. Some guy behind me said it’s because women like to wear them as sleepwear. I said I thought it was just because most bikers were fat. The conversation seemed to come to a natural conclusion after my revelation. I ended up asking a woman working there for some help, and she proceeded to show me all the “really nice” shirts with flames, skulls, and all the usual crap that I don’t want to see on my clothing. I thanked her for her time and tossed those shirts back into the bin for someone else to fold because I was juggling too many shirts that she’d handed me before she left. Fortunately, I found a few that I liked and left.

Since U.S. 1 is one of the few roads that bikers know, I decided to avoid it and took off over to Nova. It had the advantage of eliminating traffic and passing a Dairy Queen for my beloved Oreo Blizzard. Between all the calories from that and the previous meal at Hooters, I was skipping anything that resembled a healthy and nutritious dinner. I headed home in the sunset on I-95 and I-4, concluding my day at Biketoberfest. That ought to last me until the Spring.

Steven Frischling, author of the blog, travels frequently and writes about how to deal with security issues. In the blog post linked above, he points out how professional airport thieves stake out the baggage carousels at major holiday airports (e.g., Orlando) looking for potential targets. The information on your luggage tag could be all they need to know where to break into an empty house.

A while back have I sat in the United Airlines Red Carpet Club at New York’s JFK Airport to test my theory and using www.whitepages.com/reverse-lookup. Using the first bag someone placed next to me I searched the phone number on the bags to see what I could find out. What a shock, I immediately knew the home address of the guy next to me, as well as his wife’s name. Now I have no intention of breaking into anyone’s home, but by casual observation and listening I knew how easily the couple that owned the bags could become the targets of airport thieves. In the span of a few minutes I not only had the first & last names of the couple, but I knew they lived off of 188th Street in Queens, New York, a very nice upscale neighbourhood. I also knew the home would be unattended by listening to their conversation and they’d be out of town at least a day as they boarded United Flight 891 from JFK to Los Angeles’ LAX.

Frischling offers some simple and sound advice to protect yourself from theft in the airport, and from revealing information that could lead to a break-in at your home while you’re traveling. Check out his blog: Flying with Fish.

Statewide, Florida Highway Patrol issued 4,548 speeding citations, 1,928 safety belt-related offenses, and 98 DUIs arrests. In the Central Florida area, FHP issued 312 citations and no warnings. Basically, you got a ticket if they took the time to pull you over.

That pretty much confirms my thoughts that this crackdown had little to do with safety and everything to do with revenue. It’s a money-making affair for FHP. Per the Orlando Sentinel’s report, OPD said its officer’s had discretion whether to give a warning or issue a citation. That’s pretty much standard for law enforcement. So why didn’t the FHP Troopers give any warnings? There’s no profit in warning someone.

If it’s a major U.S. holiday, you know that the cops will be out in full force with yet another “crackdown” for those of us who have the day off. The official claim is that they’re trying to reduce traffic fatalities.

Bullshit. There are two reasons why cops write a lot of tickets on holidays. It’s because the higher-ups recognize that a lot of travel is an excellent opportunity to earn revenue, so they make all the working cops get out there to write tickets. The working cops are pissed at the rest of us for enjoying ourselves while they work. Also, they know that they’ll catch a ration of shit if they end the holiday crackdown period without enough tickets. There isn’t a specified quota (that would be wrong), but the supervisor will let them know if they don’t have enough tickets from such a target-rich opportunity.

While I’ll believe that the average cop would rather not work a messy traffic death scene, I’m not swayed that the reason for this crackdown is safety. It’s about the money. It’s about sticking it to you for any infraction that earns revenue.

So please be aware that you aren’t paranoid. They really are out to get you.

So that begs the question of what happens to Daytona International Speedway. Sure, there are some other races, such as the AMA motorcycle races during Bike Week and the Rolex 24. There are other events inside the Speedway, such as Camping World. However, the NASCAR races are the big draw. If those events take a dive, the impact upon local tourism is going to roll right through the community. Hotels, restaurants and vendors are likely to feel the pain.

NASCAR President Mike Helton is asking fans to support NASCAR advertisers. When has that ever happened before? Basically, he’s begging you to help NASCAR keep its advertisers. This isn’t for the benefit of the fan’s daily life. This is to keep more sponsors from bailing out on a sinking ship.

Personally, I don’t give a damn about go-fast, turn left racing. However, it does seem to be something interesting to a large part of the population. I guess when it comes to rent or racing, NASCAR fans aren’t quite as dumb as I previously thought. I don’t think that NASCAR is going to die, but it does look like it’s going to have a major transplant if things keep going this way.