I had to visit Clermont today. That’s something I’ve never said before, because most people never “have” to go to Clermont. It’s not on the way to anywhere else, really. There are normally only two reasons to visit this patch of suburban sprawl.
1: You are training for or participating in a bicycle or triathlon event.
2: You want to see the water tower.
I’ve added a photo of it to spare some of you from experiencing the sheer misery of driving to Clermont. Seriously, this place sucks. The roads are old, the drivers are stupid and there is nothing remarkable about this patch of land. If you’ve seen Walmart, Panera Bread and 7-11, then there is nothing exotic beyond those types of common chain businesses to see.
Before the place got overbuilt with cheap housing and mediocre businesses, this was actually a beautiful part of the state. It had lush, green rolling hills with beautiful views. Now those views are clogged with box-like buildings, most of which are beige. You know a place is really rockin’ if it’s beige. All the cool places are beige. Clermont traded green hills for beige boxes.
Clermont still has nice hills and is a great place for bicyclists, but most of the people clogging the roads at rush hour aren’t here for the exercise.
More likely, they came for cheap housing. Sadly, they didn’t factor in the cost of their commute to Orlando for work, because there is no discernable industry here beyond servicing bikes, being a clerk, or using heavy machinery to clog the roads. I’ve seen more dump trucks in Clermont than any other part of the state. This is where dump trucks come to mate and create more dump trucks, which in turn block anyone who wants to step on the fucking gas pedal to get somewhere before the next millennium.
So why did I venture out into this suburban wasteland? Believe it or not, it was related to exercise. I’m not interested in cycling up and down Thrill Hill, so I’m trading in my road bike for a spinning bike. I’ll get my exercise thrills in air conditioning from now on, and the fine folks at South Lake Bicycles had a Schwinn spinning bike for sale. It’s not part of their usual thing, but it worked out for me. The owner, Mark Marshall, bought it used from someone who decided he didn’t want it anymore. My friend Niki somehow learned about it from Mark at a recent triathlon, and she knows that I’m in the market for one. In turn, I’m selling my road bike to her husband. The way this all worked out, I’m saving money buying locally, Mark is happy to sell the spinner, and I’m not charging Niki as much for my bike because I don’t have to cover the cost of buying & shipping a spinner out of state.
Confused? So am I, but suffice it to say that we all got what we wanted for less money than we thought. If you’re going to be in Clermont anyway for the outstanding cycling opportunities, then get to know the folks at South Lake Bicycles. They’ve been involved in competition cycling for years and are really friendly people. It’s worth a stop just to check out the place.
Outside of cycling, stay home. I’ve been to Clermont and suffered for you. You’ve seen the water tower. Spare yourself the trip out here. It’s not worth it.
